Tag: weakness

Perfect In Weakness

Today’s reading is 2 Corinthians chapters 12 and 13, as well as Galatians 1.

What is at least one thing you are self-conscious about? I have a few. One is my bow legs. As I grew, they got worse and classmates poked fun at me. I have to laugh though because my last name is Bandy and if you look up “bandy” in the dictionary it says “bandy-legged” means bow legged! It only stands to make sense that my brother, dad, and I have been smitten with this. The other item I became self-conscious about at a young age is my skinniness and lack of physical strength. I remember getting anxious about going to the weight room for football. I didn’t want my teammates and coaches to know that the kid who was competing for starting quarterback could hardly lift the bar in bench press. As I have shared before, I then broke my arm three times in two seasons. That obviously did not do anything to stop the jokes about my frailty but only poured gasoline on the fire.

Now that I’m an adult and married with four children, I should be past this right? To be straight, it’s still not easy. As a man, husband, and father, we still often measure ourselves by our physical strength and our masculinity. I should be able to lift or move something on my own, right…or use my physical skills to fix something around the house? That’s maybe a 3rd complex I won’t go into today..haha. We should also be able to physically protect our family with our strength if our family was ever in danger.

I have previously written about my spinal stenosis and ironically as I write this, I am getting ready to have my 5th surgery in a few weeks. As I’ve shared in the past, I have permanent loss of strength (about half) in my right hand, as well as motor skills, and now have had more surgeries including the one coming up to keep the same thing from happening to my left arm/hand. As you can tell, getting away from self-consciousness about my lack of strength because I now am old, no longer play sports, and work a job where I mostly use my mind and relationship skills is still not easy because now I still struggle with some of the basic things I want to do around the house for my family. I know it’s silly to be concerned about my physical strength at this point. Paul even tells us 1 Corinthians 16:13 physical strength is not what makes a man a man. He says, “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.”

I don’t believe in coincidences, so I don’t believe it’s a coincidence that 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 where Paul talks about an affliction he was given was part of my assigned verses as I prepare for my next surgery.

 7 So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations,[a] a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Paul states that his affliction (we are not sure what that affliction is) keeps him from being conceited. Is this the case for me? I don’t know..maybe. I know one thing..I’ve been blessed in my life with some things I don’t deserve that unfortunately not everyone has…loving parents, a loving and supportive wife, four healthy kids, financial blessings, and a stable career I love. If I didn’t have some “thorn(s),” would I even think I needed God? I realize God had His hand on my life when he led me into the field of financial planning, rather than dentistry/orthodontics, my original dream career, which I would not be able to do with my hand issues. If these surgeries were not possible due to modern medicine, I would be like the man at the pool in the Bible..paralyzed eventually. He led me to a surgeon and surgery options by His grace that were better than what Mayo even proposed. I can still throw a ball with my kids and type on a keyboard which is needed in my career.  I’m extremely grateful for His provision through all of this. I’m also grateful these challenges are mine and not my wife or my children.

Most importantly, as I look down and see my puny, almost withered right hand..I’m reminded what Paul says here in 2 Corinthians 13:10. When I am weak, then I am strong, and His grace is sufficient and His power is made perfect in my weakness. It’s all that matters and all I really need in life. Ironically,  another Paul, my good friend and Christ follower Paul Kelly, stated the following to me recently in a text message dialogue after a sermon…

“My desire to be the best version of myself will never be good enough. So..it’s in our weaknesses that God unveils our greatest gifts..His love is incomprehensively good and although I’ll never be worth it…I will forever be grateful.”

Thank you, Paul…no truer words can be said.

The Great Physician

And He said to the, “Doubtless you will quote to me this proverb, ‘Physician, heal yourself.’ What we have heard you did in Capernaum, do in your hometown as well.”

Luke 4:23

It is known through other scriptures and those immediately before and following these in Luke 4:22 and Luke 4:24 that Jesus was rejected in His hometown and performed few miracles there (Mark 6:5). What it is believed He is saying in Luke 4:23 is that one would assume if He can heal and perform miracles, He would do that among His family and those in His hometown like He was doing in Capernaum and other areas. However, Jesus knew they would not say that because they did not believe He was the Messiah.

Why did they not believe He was Christ? Sometimes we are too close to a situation to realize what is going on or too close to a person to realize how great they are. Have you ever heard the saying, “You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone?” Many of us may have experienced this with a loved one or relationship that we took for granted until they were gone sadly. Although Jesus personally truly had no flaws like our loved ones still did, those in Nazareth knew His mom and dad and that He came from poor parents in their region so how could He possibly be the chosen one? They were too close and knew too much…which really meant they didn’t know anything. Even His own disciples seemed to get fearful and nervous when running out of food or a storm or problem came up when just days or even hours before they saw Jesus provided what they needed and more through miracles.

I think if most of us are truthful with ourselves we can say even though we’ve never personally met Jesus, we have seen Him do miracles in our life. The probable health diagnosis of a serious problem which somehow turned out to be nothing. Struggling to know how bills would get paid or where the next meal would come from, but somehow unexpected money came in or bills were unexpectedly forgiven. Or what about the car wreck that nearly happened when someone ran a red light, but it didn’t because you just happened to look that way..even when your light had been green for a while. And although we know that some of these needs were met in ways so improbable that they absolutely had to be a miracle from God, how quickly we tend to forget what He did before when the next challenge arises sometimes even within days.

James 1:6-8 says, “But let him ask in faith, with no doubting for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” While Jesus performed some miracles in Nazareth, would He have done more if those in Nazareth would have believed? While He’s performed some miracles in our life, would He have done more if we TRULY believed He could or would when we prayed for others?

While I believe this verse in James tells us believing He can and will do what we pray for is important, it’s not always His will to perform miracles even then because He knows what’s best for us and is wiser than we are (Isaiah 55:8-9). Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” I’ve shared before that I was diagnosed with spinal stenosis in 2019 which caused me to lose strength and some motor skills in my right hand. After 2 surgeries and correction for the stenosis, my strength has not come back yet. And while I believe He can and will heal it as only He as the Great Physician can, I’m at peace with His will. When I look down at my puny hand or struggle to do something simple and have to ask from help from my wife or someone else to do a task that used to be easy, it reminds me of the other miracles He DID perform in all of this…..finding a doctor in an improbable way who performs a surgery even Mayo didn’t know about, being able to still perform my career and write and type still despite my challenges as where my original dream to be an orthodontist would have yielded much different outcomes and financial challenges, and still being able to even walk and play catch with my children. I appreciate the little things I used to take for granted. Most importantly, it reminds me that my story can help others…not only physically by sharing my doctor and surgery no one else is performing….but spiritually by sharing with others that I can see God’s provision through the situation and that while yes…I want my hand to be at 100%….the physical and other earthly challenges we face are short…no matter how long our life. What really matters is our soul for eternity. And yes the Great Physician can heal our physical bodies and meet our physical needs, but what He can and has already saved and healed us from is what no earthly physician can..the burden of sin, death and the eternal punishment we deserve. Through His wounds, physical suffering, and death on the cross which was worse than anything we will ever face, the Great Physician has given us eternal life when we believe and trust in Him and His grace. Jesus…thank you for making my story and all of our personal stories a part of the greatest story ever told…your story.