Love – Page 6 – BibleJournal.net

Marriage and Family Advice

Ephesians 5 is rich with advice on relationships. At the center of all relationships are the marriage and the family. God established them in the beginning for good reason and in good and perfect design. I have heard them referred to as ‘just another place to walk your Christian faith’ and in the same breath ‘thee most important and challenging place to do so,’ which gives them the familiar simple but challenging label. Praise God for His Word that reveals the truth and guides us! Here is the simple recipe for a blessed family:

And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. – Ephesians 5:18-21

So that is it, a simple four point checklist. There is a lot out there written on how to have a successful marriage and family. Let us quite all the noise for a moment and remember God’s recipe. Here’s a four point checklist that we use in our family. It is labeled the real issues to remind us that God’s word is the authority in our lives and our relationships. These are instructions on what each family member has in Christ.

The real issues of blessed family:

Spirit filled; under the obedience of God’s Word
Singing hearts of joy; speaking in psalms/spiritual songs to one another
Saying thanks; ever thankful, ever grateful
Submitting our will to the others’; going last, putting others first

The image I used for this post is a heart that Jamie made to remind us of these real issues of a blessed family. It is placed on our fridge right next to handle, a little in the way but never out of place.

Today’s reading: 1 Kings 8; Ephesians 5; Ezekiel 38; Psalm 89

Extra Credit: free ~11 hour study resource marriage, parenting, and family: The Fulfilled Family

We are All One in Christ Jesus

Today’s Readings: 2 Samuel 23; Galatians 3; Ezekiel 30; Psalm 78:38–72

²⁶for in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith.²⁷For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ.²⁸There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:26-28

I happen to have the TV on in the background and hear about the latest shooting that happens at a mall. A news feed comes across my phone of protests and people getting hurt elsewhere. I read an email about a child who is making bad choices and needs to be spoken to on Monday. It’s upsetting and I reflect on, ” How can I make more of a difference with others? How can we make a positive impact on our young adults and children? I read back over these verses and know I need to share God more with others. I know He will come like a thief in the night. Beyond this breath of life, I want us all to be together for eternity by our relationship with God. 1 Thessalonians 5:2

I heard a statement that was made by Baltimore Ravens players Benjamin Watson that says, ” Our current president or whoever is elected in the future can’t save us. The only one who can change the heart of man is the Lord!” I find comfort in this statement, I find faith, I find truth. Today, as I reflect on the last few verses of Galatians 3. I know that we need to all work together to change our hearts. God wants us to be prepared, there’s no time to fall asleep. Matthew 24:42

Trying to connect some dots I reflect on our small group study for last week on Baptism by Marcus Bieschke. It was a great reminder of the Almighty who is on our side how we can respond when we see everything unfolding around us. In reflecting on baptism it was the acknowledgment that we need to be washed and put our trust in Christ. For me it wasn’t baptism meant I had finally figured it out, but willing to make it a starting point to make a change my life. This change for you and for me will connect all people no matter our backgrounds.

We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. Romans 6:4.

In times of uncertainty, know that God is our stronghold and any fear can be brought to Him. He has given us the duty to adhere to and share His commandments. Matthew 28:19-20. I know sharing our faith can be hard but I was hit with a gut check reminder Sunday when Pastor Mike Baker said to “Follow the Lord today like it’s your last…, because it could be! Joshua 1:9

So my prayer is to “put on” Christ all the days he gives me. If there are those who don’t know Him, I need to better to share his Love through my words and actions. We are in need of a lot of love. It’s a matter of us all sharing, doing, acting in a way that impacts everyone that you contact. Amen

We will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord. Psalm 78:4

For We Are ALL One in Christ.

(Watch this link on Baptism or on our last sermon on Unveiled)

The Bible: God’s Love Story

I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that the gospel I preached is not of human origin. I did not receive it from any man, nor was I taught it; rather, I received it by revelation from Jesus Christ. -Galatians 1:11-12

Does God love us enough to choose to communicate? I used to wonder about this, I no longer do.

Was the Bible written by man? In a sense, I suppose it was. But does it also have Divine origins? More fundamentally; is there a God who created us, who intervenes at times, having actually stepped into our world as one of us?

After a lifetime of contemplation and prayer, I can only conclude YES!

Christianity is often maligned for being exclusive and arrogant. But if in fact God exists, and has chosen a certain path of revelation, then doesn’t it follow that any information that brings that story into light is worth exploring?

The Bible offers this opportunity by sharing the amazing story of our reconciliation with God. Not for the pious and the self-righteous, but for those of us who are at times broken, struggling to understand morality and hungry for truth. I have found the Bible to be more than a codex for life. It is a powerful love story about rebellion, redemption and salvation. This is a story we all need to understand.

Man is man and God is God — holy and separate from us. Yet it is by His grace that we are redeemed. We are not called to seek adoration or please people, but to love others. Doing this isn’t easy in our limited power. But in our surrender and contrition we receive God’s power to love; not in our strength but in our weakness.

We are made to be the instruments of God — instruments of love.

In the Bible, Jesus instructs us to have genuine concern for ALL PEOPLE. Not in arrogance or judgement, but in humility, service and sacrifice. When I live with an attitude of grace and gratitude I demonstrate a spirit of peace, kindness, and warmth towards others. And this power comes from God.

It’s not surprising that only God demonstrates constant, pure and perfect love. As Christ, God provided the perfect and ultimate example. He calls out through time, to all humanity, inviting us to follow.

I would rather be a Christ Follower than anything else. In the Bible Jesus teaches us by His life, death, burial and resurrection; and that it is possible to be in harmony with God. It is also possible to love other people unconditionally. When I am able to do this I am able to truly love myself. Then my possibilities are aligned with my purpose. Only then am I able to achieve my fullest potential and to bare the fruit of the spirit.

Thank you God for loving me, so that I, in turn, am able to genuinely love you and others. May others see your love in me. Amen.

By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. -Matthew 7:16-18

Today’s reading link: 2 Samuel 21; Galatians 1; Ezekiel 28; Psalm 77

Happiness Isn’t Everything

Many thanks to my friend Erin Straza who was so gracious to agree to write for Bible Journal this week. Her encouragement as a friend and a fellow artist has been a blessing to me over the last year. She is an insightful and heartfelt writer. I am looking forward to her new book about comfort detox that releases in February.

I first met Erin when she was the staff writer for Spread Truth Ministries (spreadtruth.com). This team is best known for their amazing condensation of the bible to a brilliant, compelling, five minute animation which is inspiring millions across the world in thirteen languages and soon to be twenty two!

Now Erin’s fine work:

God’s Comfort Distribution Strategy

If our country had a national emotion, it would certainly be happiness. The pursuit of it is written into our founding documents. It’s become the highest aim of our lives and even our in-the-moment choices. Although being happy isn’t wrong, it isn’t the only emotion we will experience in this life. When other feelings show up and crowd happiness out, it’s easy to feel like a failure.

Something I appreciate about the Bible is that the authors are real people who experience real feelings—and not just the socially acceptable ones. Even Paul—who seems to be a persistent, get-it-done, no excuses sort of guy—admits to a whole host of emotions.

Today’s reading includes a portion of Paul’s second letter to the believers in Corinth, in which Paul admits to the entire church that he had been depressed (v. 6) because their “bodies had no rest, but we were afflicted at every turn—fighting without and fear within” (v. 5). We’ve all had seasons when nothing seems to be going well and it robs us of rest physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Although we don’t know the extent of Paul’s despondency, whether it was short-lived discouragement or debilitating depression, he willingly confesses his struggle, his pain, his weakness.That’s a brave soul, indeed.

Admitting these needs is necessary, however, if we are to receive the comfort of God. He is our Comforter, our solace for every trouble. We know this—in theory. But in practice? Well . . . we all could use a bit more practice!

Practicing the practice of finding our comfort in God takes a concerted effort. We’ve been conditioned by our culture—and ultimately, our sin nature—to grasp for comfort everywhere else but God. Our efforts fall short because God made us for Himself, as Pascal has said. To this end, I see two principles in 2 Corinthians 7 that help us practice finding our comfort in God.

No Hiding: Learn to Receive. When I’m downcast, reaching out to others for help takes all the courage I can muster. I need courage to be real like Paul was—upfront, no mask, no hiding. But mainly I need courage to be tended to in my moment of need. Inviting others to draw near and be close when I am at my lowest is a place of great vulnerability. The people I invite into this tender realm must be trusted allies who speak full truth in full love. Coming to others with my full self requires that I allow others to come to me with their full selves too. This is the mark of Christian community, where everyone is “walking in the light;” it’s essential if we are to enjoy true “fellowship within one another” (1 John 1:7, ESV). Learning to receive help and comfort from others is foundational to a healthy fellowship—and a healthy person.

No Hoarding: Learn to Give. In this world of trouble, it’s tempting to back away from people like Paul who confidently announce their needs. But a healthy fellowship cannot have members who only know how to receive help and comfort—they must also know how to give it away. Sometimes I withdraw from others because I don’t want to invest the energy required to be a comfort. Sometimes the magnitude of a need just plain scares me. But as a recipient of God’s mercy, I am now commissioned as a steward; hoarding the comfort I’ve been given is not becoming of God’s redeemed. Paul explains how comfort is meant to be the gift that keeps on giving:

“But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, and not only by his coming but also by the comfort with which he was comforted by you.” (2 Corinthians 7: 6–7)

Paul received comfort from Titus, who got it from the Corinthian believers. Ultimately, the comfort came from God who, it seems, “comforts the downcast” through His people. We are truly His comfort agents, commissioned to give away all that God has given us, wherever we find a need. Comfort is never meant for a single, onetime use. It grows in power when we pass it on.

In sum, all comfort comes from God, as He is “the God of all comfort (2 Cor. 1:3). But God often uses flesh-and-bone people to deliver it. Comfort abounds when we readily admit our own needs and readily tend to the needy. In this life, happiness may come and go with our circumstances, but God has a comfort that prevails when His people refuse to hide and learn to give.

Today’s reading link: 2 Samuel 14; 2 Corinthians 7; Ezekiel 21; Psalm 68

Erin Straza is a freelance writer, editor, and marketing communications consultant. Her first book, Comfort Detox: Finding Freedom from Habits That Bind You, releases February 2017 from InterVarsity Press. Learn more at erinstraza.com.

I (still) Do

Today is a special day in the Harris family as we are celebrating our 16th wedding anniversary!

Back in the 1900s, I typically only prayed last minute or for shallow stuff that would benefit only me. For the airplane in turbulence to not crash, for a passing grade on a test that I didn’t study for, for money, to win at sports (or to not come in last), etc.

However, there was one prayer that I feel that over time was more spiritual than the rest. I prayed for a wife; that God would send her to me and that I would know that she was the right one. Even though my spiritual life was weak in those days, there were times that I actually got on my knees and prayed. Sometimes it was out of feeling lost with the thought that another person would fill the void. Sometimes it was loneliness or with a broken heart after a breakup. Deep down though even with a lacking relationship with my creator, I truly believed he was listening to me, and he would answer this prayer. And did he ever.

If you know Amy at all, you know she is fun, super cute, beautiful, energetic, a good listener, and a thoughtful, sweet, kind friend. These attributes are what drew me to her and reasons why I vowed to spend the rest of my life with her, to have and to hold, forsaking all others… until death. Wedding vows seem to be the only common place where people say “until death”, so this should remind us how significant the commitment should be. The thing about vows (solemn promises or guarantees) is that they are only as good as what backs them up. A vow made today could easily be broken tomorrow, so how do we address this? We’re humans and unfortunately destined to fail on our own. We can all cite various marriage statistics and share stories about sad endings to marriages, but today I want to share some of the ways that our vows have remained intact and some reasons why there is joy in our marriage.

The vow. We made promises that we both intended to keep. We had careful
consideration and discussed marriage well before getting engaged. I knew Amy’s stance long before we were married; cheat and it is over. We don’t wonder what we’ll do if this doesn’t work out, we focus our commitment in doing what it takes to ensure that it does work out.
Continuously recall why you chose the person in the first place. I love to make Amy laugh and sometimes I forget how powerful it is to make her laugh, it is like all the cares in the world melt away. I love to travel with her, I love dates with her, I love to pause and look into her lovely green eyes. This doesn’t all just happen; neither of us are close to perfect, so we need a lot of intentional practice. I believe many people grow apart because they forget this crucial aspect. It breaks my heart to hear a husband or wife refer to their partner negatively. YOU CHOSE the person, figure it out. Get help. Ask a friend. Pray fervently. You dated the person before you were married. Why did you stop dating? Excuses aren’t accepted; it is your life, your marriage that you chose. Have a dinner date at home when the kids go to bed (and don’t let the inmates run the prison, you are the parent, you control their bedtime). Have a one hour date on the porch, it is free. We’ve found that intentionally and frequently seeking distraction-free time together helps us communicate and refocus on each other.
Putting Christ at the center of the marriage. This is where imperfection meets its match. Meaning, the more we recognize that we’re not perfect and that a perfect, loving God has given us so much grace, the more we realize how important it is to give grace to each other. I’m not the best listener, but Amy gives me grace. I think she does things too fast and she thinks I do things too slow, but we give each other grace. In Christ, our priorities are realigned from “me, myself, and I, then others get the leftovers” to “Jesus, others, myself”. As we grow spiritually, the more visibly we become the “new creation” that 2 Corinthians 5:17 refers to: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
Treating the marriage as an entity or an investment. Is it healthy? Does it need exercise? Is it being built up? Does it need input from others? Do the core principles need to be shared so that other marriages can be strengthened, and perhaps ours strengthened as well? Are books to help my career more important than books that strengthen my marriage and spiritual life?

2 Samuel 12; 2 Corinthians 5; Ezekiel 19; Psalms 64–65

Father God, thank you for the gift of marriage. Today I ask a special blessing on not only our marriage but all marriages. For the readers of this blog. For those who are hurting, lost, or lonely and feel there is no way out. Would you supernaturally pour out your love and show them your way? Would you speak to us and reveal your will? That we may point others to you as the source of all goodness, and to your son Jesus as our redeemer and king. Amen.

Build Up!

What are the some of the ways to maintain a healthy relationship? To name a few:

Communication
Unselfishness/focus on the needs of others
Quality time together; enjoying each other’s company
Investment; acknowledging the relationship is an entity, and actively investing in the entity
Honesty

A friend recently made an observation regarding my relationship with my wife and he asked me what I believe are the contributing factors to the success our relationship. First, how great is it when someone we know asks such a question! I was instantly grateful for this friend to care enough to observe and ask. The question itself reminded me that people are always paying attention; analyzing the behaviors of others, and curious about relationships for many reasons.

My response to the question was similar to the list above, but when I shared this story with my wife, she immediately added “we compliment each other”. She was referring to giving compliments of encouraging words (as Merriam-Webster defines compliments):

a remark that says something good about someone or something
an action that expresses admiration or approval

Amy’s response was a reminder to me as to her own appreciation for compliments and certainly caused me to wonder the last time I complimented her on something. Compliments when given with pure intentions (or if you’re a Five Love Languages fan, “words of encouragement”) are outward acts reflecting our inward heart. They symbolize the focus on others and typically measure the depth of the relationship (for example, complimenting someone’s smile as opposed to identifying one of their personal strengths and sharing how you see them using that strength in an effective way).

In 1 Corinthians 14, Paul focuses on the theme of using spiritual gifts for building up others instead of ourselves. What a gift this chapter was for me to read today having just had the conversation last night with Amy regarding building each other up. God moves in mysterious ways, we just need to pay attention!

2 Samuel 3; 1 Corinthians 14; Ezekiel 12; Psalm 51

³On the other hand, the one who prophesies speaks to people for their upbuilding and encouragement and consolation.

⁵Now I want you all to speak in tongues, but even more to prophesy. The one who prophesies is greater than the one who speaks in tongues, unless someone interprets, so that the church may be built up.

²⁶What then, brothers? When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up. (1 Corinthians 14:3, 5, 26)

Father God, thank you for placing people in my life who have encouraged me in love and faith. Specifically in the last 36 hours, I’m completely humbled, honored, and in awe to reflect on so many names of people who have built me up! Amy, Robbie, Rick, Jared, Preston, Peyton, Pamela. May I continue to see these acts of love as gifts from you God. Show me where I am selfish in relationships and where my focus needs to turn toward others, that I love unconditionally so that you may be glorified. I cannot thank you enough for the love you have for us which is reflected in the death, burial, and resurrection of your son Jesus to save us from our sins. May this day glorify you. Amen.

The Way of Love

Happy loving family. Father and his daughter child girl playing and hugging outdoors. Cute little girl and daddy. Concept of Father's day. — 2 Samuel 2; 1 Corinthians 13; Ezekiel 11; Psalm 50

Living in America, we are presented with endless opportunities. From birth, we are taught that we can be anything we want to be and that we can do anything we set our minds on. I believe this. In fact, it fuels my desire, causing me to seek greater knowledge, wisdom, and skills so that I can attain them. It’s a good thing. In fact, I want my kids to recognize that they have the same opportunities. I, like you, tell them that they can be President. I encourage them to reach high, to develop knowledge, wisdom, and skills. As I teach them, I hope that they will do well. Today, however, 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 forced me to evaluate how I am conditioning them.

I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging symbol. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)

Do you see it? When I read those three verses, I cannot help but look evaluate how I am developing my kids. My determination is that I am very good at teaching them about worldly things like acquiring knowledge and Godly things like having faith. They are on my short list. Unfortunately, according to Paul, these things alone are worthless and nothing. One thing is needed to make it all worthwhile; love. This begs the question, how am I teaching my kids to love? That question strikes terror in my heart. The truth is that my kids, like your kids, learn love the way that we love them. Additionally, they are learning how to love their future spouses by the way that we love ours. Why does it strike terror in my heart? I am very aware of my shortcomings both as a father and a husband. Seriously, both are far from God’s design. Thankfully, this is not the end of the story!

This is the beginning of the story. When I recognize that my love falls short of what God created it to be, I need to look no further than Jesus. His perfect love and his perfect sacrifice fill the gap. My acceptance of His perfection establishes and strengthens my bond of love with Jesus. His love, now in me, enables me to grow in love as both a husband and a father. The love of Jesus is not just for me. It is for you too.

Examine thyself

September 6, 2016

The last few weeks at church we have been reading in John and discussing the many many events that happened hours before the death of Jesus. Using figures of speech and talking plainly Jesus spoke so we can read today and have hope, faith, love for Him, ourselves, and others John 16:25. In these hours before a betrayal Jesus sat down with his disciples first showing how we should serve others John 13:16 , take heart in tribulations, be not of the world, and that God loves us with the same depth as His only son John 17:26.

Today’s Readings: 1 Samuel 31; 1 Corinthians 11; Ezekiel 9; Psalm 48

In the second half of 1 Corinthians 11:17-34 we read about the Lord’s Supper. This is a part that Christians have read and listened to every time we take communion. Starting at 1 Corinthians 11:24, Paul writes how the bread and the cup represents the body and blood is taken in the remembrance of Jesus. Verse 1 Corinthians 11:26 is that reminder to us that we proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.

In 1 Corinthians 11:28 Paul talks about us examining ourselves. Yesterday, as Brandon Grant read and preached from John 17:20-26 he talked about The Oneness that Wins the World .This Oneness challenged me to be reflective in my desires and the oneness I have with others. I felt this examination run through my mind and in my heart. As I reflected on my prayers, engagement in others, and the sacrifices that I should make for God and His kingdom. These thoughts continued through the night as I read through this part of 1 Corinthians 11:28 into now. I asked myself how many times I have had the Lord’s Supper and not examined myself. Remembering that it is the Lord who truly knows our hearts and will judge us. In our time of communion, eating the bread and drinking the cup shows that we are remembering Christ’s death for us and renewing our commitment to serve Him. In this time of communion, instead of thinking of what plans I have that will follow that service I need to be thinking about what Jesus did and Why He did it! Taking the Lord’s Supper should be a time when I can examine myself for any unconfessed sin or resentful attitudes. What barriers am I hiding that affect my relationship with Him and with other believers.

Dear Lord, by Your grace do we get to be part of this special time where we can take this sacrament given by Christ to help strengthen our faith. Jesus, thank you for this time where we are at oneness with each other and completely focused on You. Thank you for the reminder that the Lord’s Supper is not to be taken lightly and this new covenant came at the cost of Your life. Amen

Wedding Invitation

Today’s post is taken from a wedding message that I gave in July of 2009. I laughed and cried a little when I read it, and I hope you do too.

Good evening everyone. Welcome to the marriage ceremony of Alison Andaloro and Adam Parla.

My name is Jon Harris, and for those of you who don’t know me, I’m Alison’s brother in law. For those of you who do know me, yes, I really got ordained online and yes, I’m really going to go through with marrying my sister in law.

When Alison and Adam first approached me to do this my initial reaction was a resounding “Yes!”… what fun to be a part of such an important day in Alison and Adam’s lives. After reality set in and I realized that I had agreed to take on a major responsibility. After all, this is a one-time deal for Alison and Adam, and me as well.

What value can I add here as someone who has known Alison for over ten years? I actually have some vested interest in this marriage.

Alison and Amy (the beautiful bridesmaid who happens to be my wife) are sisters and best friends. To my children, Alison and Adam are celebrities. Alison is like a sister to me and now I welcome Adam as a brother. What else? I’m a father of two amazing little boys. These boys mean the world to me, and should the worst happen to Amy and me, Alison and Adam would be on point to raise these boys to be respectful, mature, responsible, and loving adults. So do I care who Alison marries, and do I care about the success of this marriage? You bet I do.

When I watch Adam and Alison as a couple I love the way they interact and respond to each others’ needs. They’re loving, gentle, kind, thoughtful. What warms my heart even more is the way they treat our children. When I watch Alison and Adam interact with Peyton and Preston, I see a glimpse as to how they will be as parents and lifetime mates to each other. Selfless.

Look at these two individuals up here. So full of life and passion for each other. Alison’s “Andaloro smile” beaming. Adam, I loved watching you as Alison walked down the aisle.

Take today slowly. Enjoy each moment. Take a step back and observe. Family and friends, support this marriage in any way you can.

Take my words to heart. Many tears of joy went into what I’m saying to you today.

For those of you who are or ever were married, can I ask you to close your eyes think about when you stood before a crowd and professed your commitment. Think about the nervousness. Think about how little you knew (and maybe how much you thought you knew). Now smile knowing it isn’t you up here, but it is these two wonderful people we know and love.

As today is the beginning of Adam and Alison Parla, this is a good segue to the beginning… Genesis, the first book of the Bible… you know, the one that starts with “In the beginning…”

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18)

Adam, man, first man, found his helper. The Bible uses the word “helper”…. And we all know she was more than his helper, right?
Genesis 2:24 says that man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife. Adam and Alison, you loyalty is to each other. Parents of the bride and groom, this verse is also for you. You’ve raised your children well, they’ve been out of your homes for a long time, but now you are encouraged to let these lovebirds fly. Let them make mistakes, let them learn, let them grow in their love for each other. Smile inside when they think they know it all.
Verse 24 continues…They were united and became one flesh. The first of many references to “oneness” of marriage…

Speaking of one flesh… yeah, I’m gonna go there…

Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:5)

So take a break from physical intimacy only so you can pray then get back to it. I’m not making this up.

I pose the question to all: What do we as a culture know about marriage? If we looked at statistics, a good answer might be “not much”.

A few things we do know:

Anything worthwhile takes work. Let’s not sugar coat it. Marriage is hard. Being a husband or wife is one of the most difficult but also one of the most rewarding jobs you’ll ever have.
We know weddings are expensive.
We know divorce is even more expensive; so let’s all save some money today and think back to the direction you heard and also the benefits of the Bible verses we went through (yes, I’m referring to the intimacy parts).

What is the number one challenge in marriage? Most people say money but we need to dig deeper. What causes the problems related to money or the other big and small problems in marriage, or even in life? It is selfishness. Marriage was designed to be a partnership and when the intent is distorted, that’s when bad things happen.

Adam and Alison, I ask you to be partners in marriage, and yield to each other. Especially in the first year of marriage. Practice yielding. Die to your own needs and give to the other. Find the joy that comes with giving to your partner; the best gifts are those that are the hardest to give. I’m not instructing you to be something you are not, and I’m not asking you to be a pushover.

A letter to each:

Adam, lead this marriage as a man and husband. Love this beautiful woman and remember each day why you married her. Find new reasons to love her. Love her for her misgivings. Love her for who she is, who she wants to be, and who she will become. Love her because today you are making a promise to love her. You’re promising in front of all these people. Use your creativity and laid back attitude to the advantage of the marriage. Come up with new ways to have fun, to tell her you love her. Kiss her before you leave for work each day. She’ll remember if you don’t and she’ll always have something to brag about to her friends.

Alison, follow Adam as your husband and leader of your home. Love your best friends because they’re your girlfriends but love Adam because he’s your husband and the only person who is going to be with you through it all. The guy who got down on one knee to beg you to marry him. Well maybe he didn’t have to beg, but you know his heart belongs to you, you’re the woman of his dreams. Look at him right now, his smile is all for you. You’ve known for a long long time that Adam is your man. The man you want to be with for life, to grow old with, to share in your old favorites like Coast Guard, and in the new experiences you will have as Mr. and Mrs. Parla… treat today as the beginning. You have a lot of history together but start over today. Today and for the next year you’re newlyweds, embrace it.

1 Samuel 26; 1 Corinthians 7; Ezekiel 5; Psalms 42–43

Father God, I pray for your blessing on our marriages today. May we see our partners as gifts from you. Forgive us for our selfishness. Show us the way. Show us your will. Thank you for the joy that marriage brings. Let our marriages become a light that shines and points to you as the author of love, the author of marriage. I ask these things in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Faithfulness

Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the highest mountains, your justice like the great deep. You, Lord, preserve both people and animals. How priceless is your unfailing love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of your wings. -Psalm 36: 5-7

God’s love was hard to miss and yet sometimes people missed it or turned away — sometimes I did too. But why? I knew God was sovereign and would do as He pleased, but did he use affliction and sin to draw us closer? That was sure how it had worked for me, but still I wondered, did He ever cause it? Perhaps affliction and sin were not only the natural consequences of turning away from God, but also the way God drew close to us. This was starting to make sense.

The History of the Jewish nation and the story of David both offer examples of God’s love and power. They are examples of how people respond to God and how God responds to people. These stories are historical treasures and lessons in both faithfulness and spiritual transformation, lessons that still speak truth and power into the lives of people today!

Israel cried out to God:

Remember, Lord, what has happened to us; look, and see our disgrace. Our inheritance has been turned over to strangers, our homes to foreigners. We have become fatherless, our mothers are widows. We must buy the water we drink; our wood can be had only at a price. Those who pursue us are at our heels; we are weary and find no rest. We submitted to Egypt and Assyria to get enough bread. Our ancestors sinned and are no more, and we bear their punishment. Slaves rule over us, and there is no one to free us from their hands. -Lamentations 5:1-8

Despite being chosen by God to be a holy nation and despite God’s frequent demonstration of his love, Israel turned away from God over and over. Their sin of disobedience resulted in affliction that many times led to repentance and reconciliation. When the Israelites were “on track” with God, His grace came in the blessings of provision and remarkable victories over powerful foes.

The stories of God’s anointing of Saul and Saul’s disobedience, when compared to David and his adulatory and act of murder, are in stark contrast to each other. Despite David’s transgressions, because he never stops trusting and loving God, he has a different outcome than Saul who turns away from God, eventually in arrogance and self righteousness as God’s Holy Spirit retreats along with His blessings. On the other hand, David’s faithfulness leads to his forgiveness by God who “washes him white as snow” and separates him from his sin, “as far as the East is from the West.”

The Lord said to Samuel, “How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way; I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem. I have chosen one of his sons to be king.” -1 Samuel 16:1

In the examples of David and Saul, it sure looks like, if we remain faithful, God remains with us, despite our shortcomings. But our permanent separation from God appeared to be a possible consequence if we turned our backs on God. This was true with Pharaoh, and Saul, and even Israel. God in His sovereignty reserves the right to take back the gift of “free will”, which could allow our hearts to harden. I certainly didn’t want that to happen to me, but what if in my hesitancy it was possible?

Today’s reading: 1 Samuel 20; 1 Corinthians 2; Lamentations 5; Psalm 36

I often wondered how God’s wisdom was revealed? And how could I know God’s spirit? Often this seemed beyond my understanding. And then there were times when I felt God’s presence so powerfully I couldn’t believe I ever favored my prescription for happiness over God’s. But without the stark contrasts in my life, would I have been able to understand my relationship to God? The list of thoughts and words and deeds that I had chosen that “grieved” the Holy Spirit were too long to list, and yet God still poured His Holy Spirit into me when I turned to Him, when I asked. I was so moved by God’s Grace it literally brought me to my knees.

However, as it was written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived”—the things God has prepared for those who love him— these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. -1 Corinthians 2:9-10

Somehow I knew, if I sought God’s will above my own, it would be revealed. I would never know the depth of God’s love and wisdom if I continued to pursue my own understanding and worldly wisdom. I knew I had to change. I was changing.

Somehow I learned that life was so much more than being cool and having fun. As cool and fun as that was, it often became the “honey pot” that distracted me from finding real treasure, a treasure more vast and magnificent than any I ever imagined.

This is what I hungered for. This is what I found. Thank you Jesus.