finding purpose – BibleJournal.net

Autumn Blessing

What shall I return to the Lord for all his goodness to me? -Psalm 116:12

In the pale light of an October evening, I sat on my patio — under the yellow rain of the locust trees, crows cawing back and forth. The cool air was filled with the smell of distant smoke as I sat wondering: How could I be so blessed?

In this tranquil place I had broken bread with my family and friends, sharing stories of our lives that intertwined like vines in a vineyard, planted and grafted, pruned and picked. Not all bore the best fruit, but the ones that did were special.

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. –John 15:1-2

Why was I so fortunate? Honestly I couldn’t think of anything that I had done to deserve all that I had been given. A strong and healthy family. A beautiful, patient, loyal and loving wife. Three amazing boys, all so different. My businesses had been prosperous in ways that made it hard for me to take the credit.

It had also been a life that revealed the hand of God in the splendor of creation.

A litany of people offering hope and direction to a scrawny freckled faced boy, and then to an arrogant young man. People investing time in me along the way, wanting nothing in return. Now I worked with trusted partners in collaborations reaching farther than I ever could have imagined. Still, I had this feeling there was more to my life.

The feeling I had on this crisp Autumn day was more than abundant gratitude, recognizing God’s incredible grace. It was a sense of responsibility, but not burdensome — more like the anticipation of greater opportunities around the next bend. Yes I had been given much and there was a reason for this, a reason I wanted to understand.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. –John 15:5

Nothing that was given to me was really mine. I had been entrusted with knowledge and treasures beyond my wildest dreams; perhaps even wisdom. I had been the unworthy recipient of unconditional love; this was the greatest gift of all. Yet when I finally realized that I was only the steward of these gifts, now I had to decide how better to use them.

In the brightness of Autumn it became clear, by surrendering all to God, the fulfillment of my purpose was possible. This was now my greatest opportunity.

Today’s reading: 2 Kings 4; 1 Timothy 1; Daniel 8; Psalm 116

Kismet

Take notice, you senseless ones among the people; you fools, when will you become wise? Does he who fashioned the ear not hear? Does he who formed the eye not see? Does he who disciplines nations not punish? Does he who teaches mankind lack knowledge? The Lord knows all human plans; he knows that they are futile. –Psalm 94:8-11

While flying to Los Angeles last week I met a Jewish electrical engineer going to visit his son at UCLA. My new freind had battled obesity, depression and the unexpected loss of the love of his life. He had overcome much. We spoke of God, eternity, the nation of Isreal and God’s promises for almost three hours. When we were saying our fairwell he asked me if I knew the term beshert. I had not, so he told me it meant; something that was meant to be, like the remarkable coincidences we shared and the fact that we, by some unusual circumstances ended up across the isle from each other.

When I was returning home on Friday, at the airport I was approached by a young man near my gate introducing himself as a good Jewish boy who needed help. He claimed to be a chemical engineering student who had flown west for an interview. He was without a credit card and had discovered his trip back east was canceled for weather and couldn’t get out until tomorrow. He couldn’t get lodging vouchers from the airline and had slept in the airport. He needed some cash for a hotel. This complicated story seemed possible, so regardless of my cynicism I gave him the cash, telling him to get a credit card. He said I was one of only two people that would even talk with him and thanked me profusely, called me an angel, while offering to send me my money back, and also pay it forward.

I looked at him and said “shalom;” then asked if he knew the Hebrew term for something that was meant to be. He said it was beshert. So I told him about how I had just learned this term on Wednesday, and it seemed fitting. He thanked me again and wandered off leaving me with my thoughts. Had I been I conned or was I merely taking a chance to help a desperate soul? I hoped it was the latter. Either way I believed I had made the right choice. It was beshert!

My life continues to be filled with surprises and blessing beyond any reasonable explanation. I deserved nothing but had been given the desires of my heart. I believed this was the result of the unquenchable desire placed in my heart to know God. There are five questions that have persisted as I searched for truth in a complicated world. The appearance of these five questions and my pursuit of their answers was beshert.

What were the prime sources of revelation and truth?
Why do we want to know God?
How can we know God?
What are our narratives about God and their source?
What is my relationship with God?

Trying to answer these questions for many years I came to the conclusion that the requirement for finding God was faith. This began with the proverbial “leap of faith.” I had to suspend my disbelief to open my mind.

Because of this I have come to know a loving God, who in grace offered me redemption through the blood of Christ and transformation in the power off His Holy Spirit. I wish I could say that this was always the case. It wasn’t. There was a time when I believed God was angry and expected perfection from me. The punishment for my lack of perfection wasn’t just the loss of God’s love but the terror of the threat of burning forever in a lake of fire. The worst part of this narrative was that it was foisted upon me by people I didn’t trust or respect; and sometimes even those I cared for who seemed to be trying to trick or manipulate me for the sake of their personal satisfaction.

But God was constantly revealing Himself in the splendor of His creation and through the examples of love in the lives of those who had discovered the power of a covenant relationship (Psalm 19). We all owe it to ourselves to determine the truth about God. It is a personal journey that first requires faith and then intent.

Surprisingly, for me, and perhaps this is true for others, a meaningful relationship with God was harder and easier than I ever thought. The biggest surprise was that getting closer to God wasn’t so much the result of my actions, or that I stormed the gates of Heaven by the sheer force of my will. It was in the understanding of my failures and shortcomings. So in my selfishness and pride I amazingly came to see that by surrendering my will and desires to God, I was finally able to connect as I was meant to. When I did, I saw that God had been there all along, loving me, calling me, shaping me and welcoming me to receive my salvation in His incredible Grace.

Instead of expecting perfection in me He offered me perfection in Him. This was when my narrative shifted. It was meant to be. This was beshert.

1 Kings 12; Philippians 3; Ezekiel 42; Psalm 94

Chasing the Wind

Leviticus 21; Psalms 26–27; Ecclesiastes 4; 1 Timothy 6

And I saw that all labor and all achievement spring from man’s envy of his neighbor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. -Ecclesiastes 4:4

Eccleiastes has been proclaimed to be one of the greatest literary masterpieces of all time. King Solomon, the author (and son of King David) was considered to be one of the wisest and richest men who ever lived. He knew very well what he was writing about. I on the other hand am neither wise or wealthy, but I have been familiar with both through most of my life.

Please forgive me if this sounds boastful, but in my extended family I have seen or been made aware of fortunes that have come and gone. At times I have experienced the effects of both the windfalls and fallout from wealth; witnessing pride from accomplishments of innovation and industry.

Not surprisingly a sense entitlement had grown through the generations, it moved past sustaining yesterday’s achievements to the decadence of wealth without work. Like the withering vine of yesterday’s will to create enterprise, the generations grew into a future where they placed more value upon the worldly gains that had come before, than on the faith of the past. One by one they fell into despair and confusion. Their trust funds couldn’t save them from the emptiness that crept into their souls.

Despite the growing darkness, there was always a flickering light of truth in the distance. The family’s acts of philanthropy had brought hope and opportunity to the underprivileged and outcasts, and inspiration to the generations. Schools, colleges, centers and clubs were funded along with research to enhance life through science and service. In their acts of kindness and sacrifices of time and treasure, the light grew stronger.

I have witnessed the powerful reach of wealth beyond the grave, trying to control the destiny of future generations. Personally I was invited to live a life devoted to the power of self and the wisdom of the world, but I have also seen the power of a different legacy in the lives of those who pursued the true light of the world — Jesus Christ. Their lives reflected the light of personal transformation, one that was only possible in the surrender to the will of God. This offered a different life and a legacy for future generations.

Everyone I have known, including myself who have chased after the wind, to the best of my knowledge, have never found what they were looking for, only vanity.