Daddy Issues

Today’s readings are 1 Kings 3, 2 Chronicles 1, Psalm 42, and Romans 8.

This weekend my 10-year-old son Deklin and I attended DADCAMP which is a camp for Dads to bring their son or daughter from 1st grade up through high school. It was an amazing experience I won’t forget, and hope Deklin won’t either. DADCAMP is a Christ-centered. biblical organization with a focus on inspiring Dads to be the best Dad they can be. Check out https://www.dadcamp.info/our-story.html for more info.

At DADCAMP they spoke about how 80% of those incarcerated have an absent father. Younger generations are leaving the church and their faith at the largest rates ever, yet when a Dad follows Jesus, 93% of the time so will his children.

I’m always amazed at how when we dig into God’s Word, He speaks to us directly related to what is going on in our lives. 1 Kings 3:3 says…

“Solomon loved the Lord, walking in the statues of David his father…”

We know not only did Solomon follow God, but he ultimately showed his level of commitment by building a temple to honor Him. We see right here in the Word where David followed God, and as a result, so did his son Solomon.  This still holds true today.

At DADCAMP we covered a book called, Father God:Daring to Draw Near by Dave Patty. This book discusses how there are 2 conversations recorded with God the Father and Jesus in Matthew 3:16-17 and Matthew 17:5. In these verses, we find God the Father communicates 4 things to Jesus, His Son.

  1. Identity – “This is my Son.”
  2. Love – “Whom I love”
  3. Pleasure – “With Him I am well pleased”
  4. Place – “Listen to Him!”

The author Dave Patty says the following…

  • Identity gives value
  • Love brings security
  • Pleasure gives motivation
  • Place brings honor

We see how God the Father felt about His Son. Not so ironically, Romans 8:12-17 tells us as a result of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, we who believe are now children of God. In fact, those verses in my Bible are under the heading “Heirs with Christ.”

12 So then, brothers,[a] we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons[b] of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” 16 The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with Him.

You can read for yourself here where when you believe you are now seen in the same way as Jesus, as a child of God who is glorified with Him. This tells us we now have an identity which brings value, love which brings security, pleasure which gives us motivation, and place which brings us honor from our Heavenly Father.

Romans 8:37-39 expands on this to tell us we are victorious, and nothing will separate us from His love and the way God feels about us now that we are His children through Jesus.

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Some reading this may not have had the best relationship with your own father, but we can all go forth and live life with confidence based on the relationship with have with our Heavenly Father through Jesus.

 

A Father’s Letter

Today’s Reading : Isaiah 43:1-28

The beginning of school and the fall season always bring back fond memories of times before.  During these first weeks of fall for the greater part of a decade, Jillian and I, would be learning new music for our annual Christmas program.  The pieces of music that always brought joy and excitement for me were the pieces from Handel’s Messiah, especially “For Unto Us a Child is Born”.  This piece comes from Isaiah 9:6:

For to us a child is born,

    to us a son is given;

and the government shall be upon[a] his shoulder,

    and his name shall be called[b]

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

 

This passage from Isaiah, still gives me a light, joyous, and airy feeling.  Then as I read today’s passage, Isaiah is giving the people of Israel a firsthand account of God‘s love for them. Isaiah is telling the actual words of God to the people… “Thus says the lord”…  Upon reading these latter chapters you can actually hear a letter from God … a letter from your dad.  In this letter it is filled with sadness and hurt from the father’s point of view.  I imagine this would be similar to the letter of the Father of the Prodigal son.  Can you imagine receiving a letter from your father that is detailing every thing that has happened in your relationship? In this letter he is showing his true heart. 

 

The Letter 

Dear Child(ren), I love you more than anything in the universe. I loved you before I even thought of having you. I thought of you before your inception and conception. I loved you before you were even formed. Oh, how I loved just the thought of you. I remember the day that you were born. I remember the smell of your head. I remember the freshness of your being. I can still remember how you smelled … that fresh newborn smell. How I delight in your birth. I do like and love you in all your stages:  in your childhood; in your teenage years; your adulthood; and your old age.

Oh, how I continuously love you. Yes, you have grown in many ways, but I still love you. There have been times that you and I have not seen eye to eye. You have grown up. You have grown into a person that has made their own choices. You have lived life. 

I remember when you were a child and I held you and I cuddled you. I remember when you started to crawl and you started to walk. I was always there just moments away. I remember when you were a teenager and you rebelled. I was always there. Even though you may not acknowledge it or understand it, I was always there. When you became a young adult and started your life, you moved away. But I was always there. No matter what would happen to you I would just be a phone call away. I never left you.

Now as you are growing up, you want to space. I understand it, but I’m always here. Don’t forget, I’m going to send you some support for you. No matter how much you have moved away or attempted to hurt me, I love you. And this love will never fade.

 

So in Isaiah, God is writing us this letter. He is pouring out his heart to us. He is showing us that he loves us no matter what. And that’s not a question of if he loves us, but he does. And there’s not a question of how far he goes. 

 

Isaiah 43: 1-3

Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

    I have called you by name, you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;

when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,

    and the flame shall not consume you.

For I am the Lord your God,

    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

 

He has not forgotten you.  No matter how hard it may seem, He states that he WILL be with you in the flood and the fire and forever. 

Be Blessed

Fatherly Advice

Today’s Reading II Timothy Chapters 1 & 2

Throughout our lives, hopefully we have had the opportunity to interact with our parents. These relationships with our parents can vary from each individual and sometimes differ in our own families.  This past weekend, many families were able to gather and celebrate with each other.  This season of holidays can sometimes be fun and merry, but it can also be difficult and painful.  Sometimes our past and current relationships with our parents can be joyful and beneficial, but sometimes they can have sorrow and pain associated with them.

Currently the relationships that I have with my mother and father are good.  Over the years we have had our differences, but we are at a place where we can each respect each other and our differences.  I know that I might be in the minority of where I have a meaningful and understanding relationship with both of my parents, but I have had to work diligently for years to cultivate these bonds with my mom and my dad. For the last several years I have intentionally worked on these relationships by increasing my communication with them on a more regular basis. I also have an understanding between them that we are all adults and we can be beneficial to each other and not have any negative feelings towards each other for any infraction on anything.

As a child I understood that my parents had the best interest in mind, but my young mind would not be able to comprehend this at that time. As a father I am seeing the same predicament play out with my children as well. Sometimes the children cannot fully understand the choices and decisions that we have to make as adults for their best interest. But as they grow and as I have grown I have seen the emotional toll that it takes older adults to make these hard decisions and that’s part of being a parent.

All these years of listening and being mentored by my father I have had some amazing words of wisdom and fatherly advice. Here are a couple that I can remember :

  • Don’t take any wooden nickels
  • Everything in the mind doesn’t have to come out the mouth
  • This ol’ world is a mean ol world, Cheer a man up in his sorrow, you might be down tomorrow.
  • You know where you came from, but you don’t know where you are going
  • Not every day can be sunny, prepare for a rainy day and keep your umbrella handy.
  • Everyone has the potential to be a thorn, but not everyone can show their inner flower.

We have been given a glimpse of some of these words of wisdom and Fatherly Advice from Paul to Timothy in this book. As we continue to review Paul’s letters and dive deeper into his message to the nine different churches and to his closest friends and associates we come to the letters that he wrote to Timothy. These letters to Timothy are some of the most personal letters that he has written in our Bible to this point. These are personal messages from a father to a son, that we have a glimpse into their relationship. At this point in their lives Paul is a prisoner under house arrest in Rome and Timothy is the principle leader for the church of Ephesus. To see the full extent of their relationship we have to go back to their beginning.

Their Journey started in Acts chapter 16 where Paul meets Timothy in Lystra and Iconium.

Acts 16: 1- 5 : Paul[a] came also to Derbe and to Lystra. A disciple was there, named Timothy, the son of a Jewish woman who was a believer, but his father was a Greek. 2 He was well spoken of by the brothers[b] at Lystra and Iconium. 3 Paul wanted Timothy to accompany him, and he took him and circumcised him because of the Jews who were in those places, for they all knew that his father was a Greek. 4 As they went on their way through the cities, they delivered to them for observance the decisions that had been reached by the apostles and elders who were in Jerusalem. 5 So the churches were strengthened in the faith, and they increased in numbers daily.

At this point Paul takes Timothy as a disciple and a son. From biblical references it is assumed that Timothy is about 16. When Paul is writing the this letter to Timothy it is assumed that is about 14 years after their journey began,  so Timothy would be approximately 30 to 40 years old.To see the full picture of the letter you have to understand the relationship between Paul and Timothy. 

Paul has been a mentor and a father figure to Timothy for more than half his life. When we were introduced to Timothy, his father was not mentioned.  The other part of their relationship is that we have to assume that they are communicating to each other on a regular basis. We are only giving a glimpse of some of the communications. They could have thousands of letters written back-and-forth between each other during these times. We have been gifted with a couple of letters between the two. 

In these two letters we can see that Timothy is like us: we are adults but we still need help and assistance from our mentors and our elders. Timothy is one of the leaders or the main leader of one of the largest churches in Asia and needs help. Sometimes we need help. Sometimes we need to know how to ask for help. Sometimes we need to know how to use the help. Sometimes we need to just listen. There are several places in these two chapters that Paul is giving Timothy some sound advice.

II Timothy: 

1: 2-6;9

2 To Timothy, my beloved child:

Grace, mercy, and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.

3 I thank God whom I serve, as did my ancestors, with a clear conscience, as I remember you constantly in my prayers night and day. 4 As I remember your tears, I long to see you, that I may be filled with joy. 5 I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well. 6 For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, 7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control…..who saved us and called us to[a] a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began,

II Timothy 2: 4-7

No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him. 5 An athlete is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules. 6 It is the hard-working farmer who ought to have the first share of the crops. 7 Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything.

16-17

 But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness, 17 and their talk will spread like gangrene.

20-21

Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for honorable use, some for dishonorable. 21 Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable,[d] he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work.

22-25

So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. 23 Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. 24 And the Lord's servant[e] must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, 25 correcting his opponents with gentleness.


Each on of these pieces that Paul is guiding Timothy with is still valid today in our society.  These are nuggets that Paul is giving his son in how to work with the people in the church and for the body of Christ.  

As we review these points, let us ask ourselves how we are engaging with each other on a spiritual level. One exercise that we could do is write a letter to our father or mother or a mentor.  

What will we say to them? What words of advice would we tell them how we are using their advice? What will we write to a son or a daughter or someone that we mentor to give them advice about what’s going on? How is God using us in our relationships to be encouraging? 

Have a blessed week.

Fatherly Advice

Today’s Reading: Proverbs 4

I am truly blessed to have the opportunity to see my children daily and see them grow.  This privilege is one that I do not take likely or for granted, because I know many fathers that desire and long to have their children with them daily. This past weekend, I had the joy of serving with my children at a local fundraiser on Saturday and Sunday.  All three of the kids (Oliver, Ruby, and Nadya) help me setup for the annual event on Saturday afternoon and then Ollie asked if he could serve with me on Sunday.  I was pleased and excited that he would want to serve with me.  I did caution him that it would be an early morning, but he assured me that this was his desire.   Oliver had the most pleasant and excited demeanor the entire morning and was willing to learn and help as needed.  His joy and excitement is the best ROI (return on investment) that I could ever ask. He loves serving and bringing joy to others.  

As I reflect on my childhood and experiences with my father and the relationship that I have with my kids, I can better relate to some of the stories in the Bible, especially father and children stories. My relationship with my father is complex and rich.  For the majority of my life, I have had a relationship with my father, but I missed the early daily adventures with him due to the divorce of my parents.  As a young child and through today he is one of my closest confidants and mentors.  I speak with him weekly and we have a great relationship.  My relationship with my children is one that visceral and emotional.  We have many adventures and joyous times.  We also have times of instruction and learning.  Every moment that I have with them I cherish beyond measures.  My children give me peace and humility to become a better person.  

In Proverbs Chapter 4, Solomon is giving instruction to his children as his father gave him instructions.  

Proverbs 4: 3-7

When I was a son with my father,
    tender, the only one in the sight of my mother,
he taught me and said to me,
“Let your heart hold fast my words;
    keep my commandments, and live.
Get wisdom; get insight;
    do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my mouth.
Do not forsake her, and she will keep you;
    love her, and she will guard you.
The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom,
    and whatever you get, get insight.

Solomon is imparting to his children the importance of passing on the virtue of wisdom and understanding.  This is the father’s purpose: to instruct and guide.   It is the father’s purpose to prepare the children in a manner that will be beneficial and prosperous to the next generations. This charge is given to all parents to be stewards of our children and give them instruction and direction for their life. 

Throughout the bible many times the author challenges the audience to decide: whether you are the audience for approval or the audience for correction.  In Proverbs, we ask ourselves if we are the ones that the instruction is intended to prevent or correct our actions.  We must examine ourselves daily to see if we are seeking wisdom or have we turned away. 

Proverbs 4: 1-2; 10-11; 20-21

Hear, O sons, a father’s instruction,
    and be attentive, that you may gain[a] insight,
for I give you good precepts;
    do not forsake my teaching.

Hear, my son, and accept my words,
    that the years of your life may be many.
11 I have taught you the way of wisdom;
    I have led you in the paths of uprightness.

My son, be attentive to my words;
    incline your ear to my sayings.
21 Let them not escape from your sight;
    keep them within your heart.

The wisdom that we have gained, we must give to the next generations.  We must daily review our purpose and use of wisdom and adjust according.   May we pray daily for our children as David did for Solomon, which Solomon did for his children as evident in the passage. 

1Chronicles 29: 18-19 

18 O Lord, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, our fathers, keep forever such purposes and thoughts in the hearts of your people, and direct their hearts toward you. 19 Grant to Solomon my son a whole heart that he may keep your commandments, your testimonies, and your statutes, performing all, and that he may build the palace for which I have made provision.”

Be blessed. L 

Good, Good Father

Today’s reading is Matthew 20 and Psalm 93.

As we read Matthew 20:1-16 about the laborers who worked in the vineyard and were paid the same wage regardless whether they started working at the beginning or the end of the day, I have a feeling of great gratitude. I’m thankful were serve a great God who doesn’t care what we’ve done and when we give our life to him, but only that we give our life to Him.

As I ponder this in amazement, I can’t help but wonder why he is so loving and gracious? For all parents reading this, think of a time when your young children had a really bad day and you were at your wit’s end. As bedtime nears you are not sure if you can take any more of it and if they are like our kids there must be caffeine in the bathwater because they become even more rambunctious and listening goes out the window during and after bath. You then tuck them into bed to say good night, and they say in the sweetest little voice, “Daddy/Mommy…I love you.” Your heart then instantly melts. You forget the recent scolding and headaches they just caused you, and you realize deep down your love for them is unconditional. Why? Well, I believe it is because they are yours and you created them. Check out Matthew 20:15. The vineyard owner says, “Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me?” God is telling us we belong to Him. He is our Heavenly Father and our one and true Creator. When you or others can’t imagine how God can forgive many past sins and potentially nearly a lifetime of separation from Him in some cases, we need reminded that we are His and He created us so His love is unconditional forgetting past mistakes. He only wants us to come back like the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32. As a side note, this why the role of an earthly father is so important, God created us to model His love so that our kids can see it through us.

This week in our church we studied Joshua 2 where Rahab, a prostitute, helped the Israelite spies entering Jericho, even though she was a pagan and lived a life even pagans would believe to be wrong. We learn in Matthew 1:5 that she later became part of the lineage of Jesus! Talk about a redemption story! The Bible is truly full of them with this being just one example. Our Pastor Mike Baker said, “You can never get so far from Jesus that He can’t save you.” I would also add that you can never get so far from Jesus that He can’t use you for something positive and big. Outsiders become insiders through Jesus, and we are all outsiders to God through our sin …even Christians(Romans 3:23). Pastor Mike said, “Jesus came for outsiders like Rahab and all of us.”

I can’t help but think of the lyrics to the song, “Good, Good Father.” The lyrics not only say, “You’re a good, good Father, it’s who you are.” The lyrics also say, “I’m loved by you, it’s who I am.” Isn’t that awesome? You may feel like a failure. Maybe you have a failed marriage or relationship, troubled kids who make you feel like a poor parent, professional shortcomings, financial challenges or even a fallout in relationship with your siblings or earthly parents whose love and approval you deeply yearn for. There is no question these situations are hard and painful. Thankfully, these lyrics are so true though as the Scriptures remind us countless times. He created us and not only is He good, but only Him and His love matters. This is who we are. His love, and His love only, defines us. His love is unconditional. Praise God!

As we read Matthew 20, we can also likely think of a family member or friend who is a non-believer, and we are reminded it’s not too late, no matter how old they are, and no matter how many times we have witnessed to them and feel like we’ve been unsuccessful. If they are still on this Earth, they can still be saved. Through these Scriptures today, God laid on my heart an elderly man with failing health who both my Dad and I have witnessed to. This man has done so much good in his life and is a wonderful person, but know John 14:6 to be the truth. These scriptures gave me hope for him and reminded me it’s not too late. He can still be saved! I must not give up. I must continue to pray for him and speak with him again.

I pray this has touched you in some way. Maybe you can relate to Rahab and this reminded you that you can be used for God’s purpose still and only His love defines you, or maybe it re-invigorated you to pray for and witness to a non-believer you know who can still be saved. Either way, we can all be very thankful we have a “Good, Good Father.”