Jon Harris

Goat? Yes please.

The first person I thought of when reading the following two verses was our eleven-year-old son. If you know the young man in this post’s featured image, you know one of his many fine qualities is that he is a rule-follower, doesn’t speak falsely of anyone, and is gentle and courteous. Adults gravitate toward Peyton; in part I believe because he’s polite and can come off as very mature. He enjoys engaging with adults and asking good questions, loves trying food that would horrify most kids, and shows genuine interest in what people have to say.

Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. (Titus 3:1-2)

Several of these attributes played out the other night at our favorite restaurant when we noticed the famous chef/owner Stephanie Izard was there running the kitchen. It was Peyton’s first time at this restaurant, and he was delighted to learn that he could just walk right up and meet his newest hero. It was a brief chat and a great photo opportunity, but what made it excellent was observing the dialogue and demeanor of both individuals. Peyton conveyed how much he loved the goat belly and escargot ravioli, which put a big smile on the chef, as well as myself.

I’ve taken the time to share this today because I thought about the reasons why we’re taught to live out the attributes in Titus 3:1-2. Titus 3:8 points to the crux of the reasons: so we can be role models for other believers and because these things are excellent and profitable. We’ve got a saying in our home “good things happen with good behavior”, and it is true. When we’re genuinely courteous, we are much more fun to be around. I see these as simple truths that regardless of someone’s belief in God, we can observe a real-life situation, something excellent, we are moved by it, and we want more of it.

The saying is trustworthy, and I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have believed in God may be careful to devote themselves to good works. These things are excellent and profitable for people. (Titus 3:8)

In the big picture here this points to us seeking to live like Christ, the one who showed the ultimate act of kindness and love toward us through his perfect sacrifice. What could be more excellent and profitable than that?

2 Kings 17; Titus 3; Hosea 10; Psalms 129–131

Lighten Up

Yes, the featured image is a coffeemaker in the trash can.

It all started this summer with a garage sale. Going through possessions we no longer want or need left me confused. Why did we get these things in the first place? Why don’t I want them anymore? Would someone else find value in my old driver that hits the golf ball about twenty yards less than my newer one? Why would anyone want the stuff that we don’t want?

A pile of goods remained after the sale that we couldn’t even sell for 1/20 of their original cost; many we couldn’t even give away. Clothing, books, housewares, toys, etc. So I piled it all into the car and made it someone else’s problem (or opportunity). The items went to a local thrift store, and when leaving I thought, “suckers!”… and I’m sure they thought the same of me. I looked at the back of the car and it was empty. No boxes, no vases piled up, just empty space with no passengers. The load was lightened. Hey that actually felt pretty good!

Arriving home, it was refreshing to see the front yard as it had been the day prior. It looked like a yard again, not a marketplace. Same with the garage and basement; no junk piled up. My closet was less cluttered, in fact all of our closets were less cluttered. I instantly felt lighter, as if a heavy burden had been removed and it was a very good feeling.

In the months since the garage sale, quite a few more items have made their way out of this house. More clothes, and even as I type I’m recalling a broken coffeemaker in the basement next to some sushi plates and some old games that we no longer use. The coffeemaker was broken but I thought someday I might fix it. Nope, I will never fix this thing so it is going into the trash right now. As a result, there’s an empty space. The sushi plates on the left were a wedding gift, and we HAD to have them. We dreamed of making sushi all the time, being fancy and hip with our outrageously cool plates. They were expensive, and they are beautiful, but we don’t use them anymore; they just sit in the basement waiting for their next move. There’s more stuff piled up to the left of the plates, I don’t even know what that stuff is, how we got it, or if we ever used it. Looking at it stresses me out. It is baggage; symbolic of waste in my life.

The yard sale theme came to me today as I as reading 1 Timothy 6 and thinking about the term “content”. I think sometimes I’ve shunned this term with the thought that it is better to get more, to do more, to never be satisfied. While sometimes we should strive for more, there are other times when we should just be content. Content (adjective): pleased and satisfied : not needing more (Merriam-Webster)

But godliness with contentment is great gain, (1 Timothy 6:6)

But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. (1 Timothy 6:8)

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. (1 Timothy 6:10)

We live these lives desiring more, sometimes thinking that contentment is for the weak, but then we’re usually left with a pile of unused stuff in the basement, garage, and closets. Each day presents a new opportunity to say goodbye to something, to say no to selfish needs and to God’s will. The yard sale relates to physical items but over the last few months my heart and soul have longed to rid some of the other waste in my life that leave me empty inside.

What “future yard sale” items do you have in your life? Asking this metaphorically of course, but it never hurts to get rid of things you don’t need.
What good things can and should we start saying no to so we can start saying YES to great things and leave room for us to see the many miracles God has given us? #eccmiracles
From our first morning thought, what is our heart’s desire? Doesn’t that symbolize where we are in our daily walk? Let your first waking thought tomorrow and every day you are blessed with from here on be, “thank you God for another day to serve you, to know you better, and to be loved by you”.

2 Kings 9; 1 Timothy 6; Hosea 1; Psalm 119:73–96

Lion’s Den

What is your “Lion’s Den”? Have there been any adverse situations where you’ve fully put your trust into the Almighty God and realized you had absolutely no power to influence the outcome? Please take a couple minutes to read the account of Daniel and the Lions’ Den. It is a remarkable story!

Without sharing the details of my personal lion’s den, here are questions that come to mind as I considered my own journey through a recent challenge. Please reflect on one of your own significant adverse situations. It could be something current or the past, but try to consider something you vividly recall.

Prior to even knowing of the challenge, what path were you on? What did your relationship with God look like?
Were you able to prepare for the situation? Meaning, did you have some foresight that things were going to get ugly? If so, how did you prepare?
What was your first response when you became aware of the pending adversity?
Facing the situation directly, what emotions did you encounter? Did you feel prepared for what was happening? Did you feel the presence and power of God throughout and/or did you sense His presence when you were at the end of your own strength?
Why do you think that God allowed this situation to occur?
Did you consider viewing the scenario not as a problem, but as an opportunity? What if every perceived problem in your life wasn’t really a problem, but an opportunity? How would things be different?
Have you shared this situation and results with anyone?
Reflecting back on the situation, what would you have done differently?
Have you given thanks, praise, and glory to the God who delivered you?

Consider Daniel’s situation. Chapter 6 starts with informing the reader that Daniel would be placed in a high position of power and leadership under the king. Things were going quite well from a worldly perspective and in parallel, Daniel had his priorities in order. It was well known that he was a man who humbly bowed down to God. Even after learning of the fateful law that had been signed, Daniel didn’t waiver; he went home and “knelt down as usual” giving thanks to his God (see Daniel 6:10). God was glorified as a result of Daniel’s obedience and faithfulness.

The story of Daniel reminds me of Jesus in the garden the night before he was to be tortured and crucified. Jesus had his heart right, he knew his purpose, and fortunately us he submitted to the will of his Father in Heaven, the almighty God so that we may have eternal life with him.

Will you face your next trial more like Daniel and Jesus?

2 Kings 2; 2 Thessalonians 2; Daniel 6; Psalms 112–113

Did you have any meaningful conversations?

While traveling for work this week I had the opportunity to spend time with a lot of people; some whom I had previously met, and some new faces as well. One of the evenings Amy sent a text to me that read: “Did you have any meaningful conversations?” While Amy has stated that she doesn’t ever plan to author a Bible Journal post, she sure does her part in using the gifts she’s been given. She asks good questions, focuses on her strengths, and has inspired much of my writing.

Strikingly, Amy’s question correlated with one of today’s verses:

Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. (Colossians 4:5-6)

The question and the verse forced me to reflect on the many recent conversations I’d been part of.

Did I go into the conversation seeking a win for me or for others?
Were my words and actions reflective of a Christ follower?
Did I focus on small talk or did I engage the unique human being I was blessed to be able to spend time with?
Was my heart right at the beginning of the day with the prayer to seek God’s will, not mine?

Reflecting on “salt” in our conversation immediately leads me to the words of Jesus from The Sermon on the Mount: “You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet.” (Matthew 5:13).

In my heart, I don’t seek meaningless conversation, so why do I do it?

This week wouldn’t be deemed as “total failure”, however I could have done A LOT better, and the bottom line was selfishness. Fortunately I’m acutely aware of this selfishness through the act of prayerfully writing this post, and I’ll take awareness over ignorance any day. This gives me an opportunity to repent as well as consider how I’ll do better next time. Perhaps my Bible Journal should be renamed to Bible Journey.

To close on a lighter note… Amy spent hours this week making a cheesecake for my birthday and she forgot a key ingredient. The salt. No joke, but guess what? It still tasted amazing (plenty of salt in cream cheese) and better yet I felt loved because of her hard work; what a great treat to come home to. Thanks Amy!

1 Kings 17; Colossians 4; Ezekiel 47; Psalm 103

What’s your purpose?

We were all made unique and we were all made for a special purpose. Today’s reading had a few examples where “purpose” stood out:

It was God who set King Solomon on the throne of Israel, and he did this so that Solomon would execute justice and righteousness. “Blessed be the Lord your God, who has delighted in you and set you on the throne of Israel! Because the Lord loved Israel forever, he has made you king, that you may execute justice and righteousness.” (1 Kings 10:9)
Our purposes given by God and he will bring our good work to completion: “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6)
Paul refers to himself as being “put here for the defense of the gospel”. (Philippians 1:16b). Paul knew his purpose very well, and in knowing that he gave everything he had in order to serve that purpose.
Paul is encouraging the believers to live accordingly: “Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ” (Philippians 1:27a)

As an exercise, I thought about these questions to challenge my line of thinking and behavior. Will you join me in considering these as well?

What is my purpose and what am I doing to achieve it?
What would others say my purpose is?
Am I using my unique gifts and talents, and my time more for the benefit of me or to serve others and God’s kingdom? Would the people who know me best say the same about me?
How can I help others find and achieve their purpose?
Who do I know who is firmly rooted in their purpose, and what can I learn from this person?

In closing for today I wanted to share a beautiful, succinct prayer with each word carefully chosen. It is a powerful example of encouragement, love, and wisdom. Is there a more worthy purpose than what Paul articulates below? What a glorious example of God’s living, breathing word!

And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. (Philippians 1:9-11)

What if this was everyone’s prayer at the start of each day? What a different world this would be.

1 Kings 10; Philippians 1; Ezekiel 40; Psalm 91

Priorities

One of the major topics in the Harris household is talking about our schedule and priorities. There are always several things to choose from with regard to how we spend our time. We can invest in ourselves; school, exercise, spiritual training, music/arts, or enjoying various media forms such as reading, movies, television, and surfing the internet. We have those things that cause us to interact with others and each other such as socializing, meeting the needs of others, and family time. Then there are the commitments that need to happen to support our daily living; generating an income, maintaining the home, paying bills, and ensuring the budget is in order. If we don’t know our priorities, then everything is priority, which results in nothing being the priority.

Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. (Galatians 6:4 NLT)

Upon reading this verse, the phrase “satisfaction of a job well done” spoke to me first. Like my peer Jennifer Armstrong, I’m a list person. Nothing like a good list then knocking it down. Satisfaction!

Then the next part of the verse spoke a little louder: you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. Turning the sentence around, I take it to mean that if we don’t pay attention to our own work, we won’t have job satisfaction, and in doing this, we will measure ourselves by what others are doing. We’re not talking about the “good” focus on others here; I believe this is referring to things that turn to jealousy and unhealthy competition. God made each of us for a unique purpose; the more we seek and act on this purpose, the closer we can come to reaching our potential. The key here is what voice we are listening to: that of our own desires or that of the spirit because no matter the apparent result, we reap what we sow. What we put in is what we get out. Seeking after our own earthly desires yields corruption, seeking the will of the Spirit reaps eternal life.

“For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. (Galatians 6:8)

My main thought on this today is: What voice am I listening to? The guidance of The Spirit, my own desire for pleasure, or my desire to please others. Sometimes on the outside we may be attempting to please others, but on the inside we’re doing it to make ourselves feel good. Three pointers that I try to live and lead by to help “say no to the good things so we can say yes to the great things”:

It is okay to say no. God gave us freewill. We’re responsible for our choices.
Knowing my priorities helps me to say no.
Sharing my priorities with friends and family helps them understand why I am saying no.

In closing, here’s a great reminder as to what God sees as priority, and I say amen to that.

What counts is whether we have been transformed into a new creation. ¹⁶May God’s peace and mercy be upon all who live by this principle; they are the new people of God. (Galatians 6:15b-16 NLT)

1 Kings 2; Galatians 6; Ezekiel 33; Psalms 81–82

My Weakness

The Bible Journal team has been discussing and praying over what our approach to this site will be in 2017. Spending time thinking about this brings several realities to the forefront of my mind:

Authoring blog posts is hard. Publishing every week is really hard.
Writing with the intent to glorify the one who created the heavens and the earth comes with great joy and great responsibility.
Without a strong commitment to this project, there is no way I would do this.
I’m not a naturally gifted writer. For me personally, each week I struggle immensely with what to write.
Authoring for Bible Journal has been my single most impactful spiritual habit of 2016, perhaps lifetime.

When writing these journals each week I come to a place where I feel extremely weak and helpless and pray these words, sometimes aloud, “I have nothing to say; I have nothing. Please help me God.” It is almost as though I am in a dark place, and sometimes fear and panic start to set in, but when I am at my very lowest and acknowledge my weakness and God’s tender mercy, that’s when I feel His strength. It has happened with each post, and I can only say this is a miracle.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

This is teaching me to humbly turn toward Christ, where his power is made perfect in weakness. That verse so aptly fits because at the end of our own strength which is lacking, that’s where Christ wants us. Our strengths can often keep us from being in God’s will because we think we can do it all on our own. The faster we acknowledge him as the source or our strength, the faster we will align with his will and be able to glorify him, and that is a beautiful thing.

Dear readers, would you consider praying over writing for Bible Journal on a regular basis next year (or sooner as a guest author)? Do you think you’re weak? Good, you’re already on your way. Look around you, think about all of the stories in your life right now that can be used to glorify God. Observing these stories takes practice, but it also brings us closer to our maker and closer to our purpose for being on this earth, which is to glorify Him so that others may know his son Jesus Christ and be saved.

And finally, if you happen to have a birthday today then I double-dog dare you to consider this commitment to journaling… nudge nudge… (happy birthday to my sister Katie!).

2 Samuel 19; 2 Corinthians 12; Ezekiel 26; Psalm 74

I (still) Do

Today is a special day in the Harris family as we are celebrating our 16th wedding anniversary!

Back in the 1900s, I typically only prayed last minute or for shallow stuff that would benefit only me. For the airplane in turbulence to not crash, for a passing grade on a test that I didn’t study for, for money, to win at sports (or to not come in last), etc.

However, there was one prayer that I feel that over time was more spiritual than the rest. I prayed for a wife; that God would send her to me and that I would know that she was the right one. Even though my spiritual life was weak in those days, there were times that I actually got on my knees and prayed. Sometimes it was out of feeling lost with the thought that another person would fill the void. Sometimes it was loneliness or with a broken heart after a breakup. Deep down though even with a lacking relationship with my creator, I truly believed he was listening to me, and he would answer this prayer. And did he ever.

If you know Amy at all, you know she is fun, super cute, beautiful, energetic, a good listener, and a thoughtful, sweet, kind friend. These attributes are what drew me to her and reasons why I vowed to spend the rest of my life with her, to have and to hold, forsaking all others… until death. Wedding vows seem to be the only common place where people say “until death”, so this should remind us how significant the commitment should be. The thing about vows (solemn promises or guarantees) is that they are only as good as what backs them up. A vow made today could easily be broken tomorrow, so how do we address this? We’re humans and unfortunately destined to fail on our own. We can all cite various marriage statistics and share stories about sad endings to marriages, but today I want to share some of the ways that our vows have remained intact and some reasons why there is joy in our marriage.

The vow. We made promises that we both intended to keep. We had careful
consideration and discussed marriage well before getting engaged. I knew Amy’s stance long before we were married; cheat and it is over. We don’t wonder what we’ll do if this doesn’t work out, we focus our commitment in doing what it takes to ensure that it does work out.
Continuously recall why you chose the person in the first place. I love to make Amy laugh and sometimes I forget how powerful it is to make her laugh, it is like all the cares in the world melt away. I love to travel with her, I love dates with her, I love to pause and look into her lovely green eyes. This doesn’t all just happen; neither of us are close to perfect, so we need a lot of intentional practice. I believe many people grow apart because they forget this crucial aspect. It breaks my heart to hear a husband or wife refer to their partner negatively. YOU CHOSE the person, figure it out. Get help. Ask a friend. Pray fervently. You dated the person before you were married. Why did you stop dating? Excuses aren’t accepted; it is your life, your marriage that you chose. Have a dinner date at home when the kids go to bed (and don’t let the inmates run the prison, you are the parent, you control their bedtime). Have a one hour date on the porch, it is free. We’ve found that intentionally and frequently seeking distraction-free time together helps us communicate and refocus on each other.
Putting Christ at the center of the marriage. This is where imperfection meets its match. Meaning, the more we recognize that we’re not perfect and that a perfect, loving God has given us so much grace, the more we realize how important it is to give grace to each other. I’m not the best listener, but Amy gives me grace. I think she does things too fast and she thinks I do things too slow, but we give each other grace. In Christ, our priorities are realigned from “me, myself, and I, then others get the leftovers” to “Jesus, others, myself”. As we grow spiritually, the more visibly we become the “new creation” that 2 Corinthians 5:17 refers to: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
Treating the marriage as an entity or an investment. Is it healthy? Does it need exercise? Is it being built up? Does it need input from others? Do the core principles need to be shared so that other marriages can be strengthened, and perhaps ours strengthened as well? Are books to help my career more important than books that strengthen my marriage and spiritual life?

2 Samuel 12; 2 Corinthians 5; Ezekiel 19; Psalms 64–65

Father God, thank you for the gift of marriage. Today I ask a special blessing on not only our marriage but all marriages. For the readers of this blog. For those who are hurting, lost, or lonely and feel there is no way out. Would you supernaturally pour out your love and show them your way? Would you speak to us and reveal your will? That we may point others to you as the source of all goodness, and to your son Jesus as our redeemer and king. Amen.

Build Up!

What are the some of the ways to maintain a healthy relationship? To name a few:

Communication
Unselfishness/focus on the needs of others
Quality time together; enjoying each other’s company
Investment; acknowledging the relationship is an entity, and actively investing in the entity
Honesty

A friend recently made an observation regarding my relationship with my wife and he asked me what I believe are the contributing factors to the success our relationship. First, how great is it when someone we know asks such a question! I was instantly grateful for this friend to care enough to observe and ask. The question itself reminded me that people are always paying attention; analyzing the behaviors of others, and curious about relationships for many reasons.

My response to the question was similar to the list above, but when I shared this story with my wife, she immediately added “we compliment each other”. She was referring to giving compliments of encouraging words (as Merriam-Webster defines compliments):

a remark that says something good about someone or something
an action that expresses admiration or approval

Amy’s response was a reminder to me as to her own appreciation for compliments and certainly caused me to wonder the last time I complimented her on something. Compliments when given with pure intentions (or if you’re a Five Love Languages fan, “words of encouragement”) are outward acts reflecting our inward heart. They symbolize the focus on others and typically measure the depth of the relationship (for example, complimenting someone’s smile as opposed to identifying one of their personal strengths and sharing how you see them using that strength in an effective way).

In 1 Corinthians 14, Paul focuses on the theme of using spiritual gifts for building up others instead of ourselves. What a gift this chapter was for me to read today having just had the conversation last night with Amy regarding building each other up. God moves in mysterious ways, we just need to pay attention!

2 Samuel 3; 1 Corinthians 14; Ezekiel 12; Psalm 51

³On the other hand, the one who prophesies speaks to people for their upbuilding and encouragement and consolation.

⁵Now I want you all to speak in tongues, but even more to prophesy. The one who prophesies is greater than the one who speaks in tongues, unless someone interprets, so that the church may be built up.

²⁶What then, brothers? When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up. (1 Corinthians 14:3, 5, 26)

Father God, thank you for placing people in my life who have encouraged me in love and faith. Specifically in the last 36 hours, I’m completely humbled, honored, and in awe to reflect on so many names of people who have built me up! Amy, Robbie, Rick, Jared, Preston, Peyton, Pamela. May I continue to see these acts of love as gifts from you God. Show me where I am selfish in relationships and where my focus needs to turn toward others, that I love unconditionally so that you may be glorified. I cannot thank you enough for the love you have for us which is reflected in the death, burial, and resurrection of your son Jesus to save us from our sins. May this day glorify you. Amen.

Wedding Invitation

Today’s post is taken from a wedding message that I gave in July of 2009. I laughed and cried a little when I read it, and I hope you do too.

Good evening everyone. Welcome to the marriage ceremony of Alison Andaloro and Adam Parla.

My name is Jon Harris, and for those of you who don’t know me, I’m Alison’s brother in law. For those of you who do know me, yes, I really got ordained online and yes, I’m really going to go through with marrying my sister in law.

When Alison and Adam first approached me to do this my initial reaction was a resounding “Yes!”… what fun to be a part of such an important day in Alison and Adam’s lives. After reality set in and I realized that I had agreed to take on a major responsibility. After all, this is a one-time deal for Alison and Adam, and me as well.

What value can I add here as someone who has known Alison for over ten years? I actually have some vested interest in this marriage.

Alison and Amy (the beautiful bridesmaid who happens to be my wife) are sisters and best friends. To my children, Alison and Adam are celebrities. Alison is like a sister to me and now I welcome Adam as a brother. What else? I’m a father of two amazing little boys. These boys mean the world to me, and should the worst happen to Amy and me, Alison and Adam would be on point to raise these boys to be respectful, mature, responsible, and loving adults. So do I care who Alison marries, and do I care about the success of this marriage? You bet I do.

When I watch Adam and Alison as a couple I love the way they interact and respond to each others’ needs. They’re loving, gentle, kind, thoughtful. What warms my heart even more is the way they treat our children. When I watch Alison and Adam interact with Peyton and Preston, I see a glimpse as to how they will be as parents and lifetime mates to each other. Selfless.

Look at these two individuals up here. So full of life and passion for each other. Alison’s “Andaloro smile” beaming. Adam, I loved watching you as Alison walked down the aisle.

Take today slowly. Enjoy each moment. Take a step back and observe. Family and friends, support this marriage in any way you can.

Take my words to heart. Many tears of joy went into what I’m saying to you today.

For those of you who are or ever were married, can I ask you to close your eyes think about when you stood before a crowd and professed your commitment. Think about the nervousness. Think about how little you knew (and maybe how much you thought you knew). Now smile knowing it isn’t you up here, but it is these two wonderful people we know and love.

As today is the beginning of Adam and Alison Parla, this is a good segue to the beginning… Genesis, the first book of the Bible… you know, the one that starts with “In the beginning…”

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18)

Adam, man, first man, found his helper. The Bible uses the word “helper”…. And we all know she was more than his helper, right?
Genesis 2:24 says that man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife. Adam and Alison, you loyalty is to each other. Parents of the bride and groom, this verse is also for you. You’ve raised your children well, they’ve been out of your homes for a long time, but now you are encouraged to let these lovebirds fly. Let them make mistakes, let them learn, let them grow in their love for each other. Smile inside when they think they know it all.
Verse 24 continues…They were united and became one flesh. The first of many references to “oneness” of marriage…

Speaking of one flesh… yeah, I’m gonna go there…

Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:5)

So take a break from physical intimacy only so you can pray then get back to it. I’m not making this up.

I pose the question to all: What do we as a culture know about marriage? If we looked at statistics, a good answer might be “not much”.

A few things we do know:

Anything worthwhile takes work. Let’s not sugar coat it. Marriage is hard. Being a husband or wife is one of the most difficult but also one of the most rewarding jobs you’ll ever have.
We know weddings are expensive.
We know divorce is even more expensive; so let’s all save some money today and think back to the direction you heard and also the benefits of the Bible verses we went through (yes, I’m referring to the intimacy parts).

What is the number one challenge in marriage? Most people say money but we need to dig deeper. What causes the problems related to money or the other big and small problems in marriage, or even in life? It is selfishness. Marriage was designed to be a partnership and when the intent is distorted, that’s when bad things happen.

Adam and Alison, I ask you to be partners in marriage, and yield to each other. Especially in the first year of marriage. Practice yielding. Die to your own needs and give to the other. Find the joy that comes with giving to your partner; the best gifts are those that are the hardest to give. I’m not instructing you to be something you are not, and I’m not asking you to be a pushover.

A letter to each:

Adam, lead this marriage as a man and husband. Love this beautiful woman and remember each day why you married her. Find new reasons to love her. Love her for her misgivings. Love her for who she is, who she wants to be, and who she will become. Love her because today you are making a promise to love her. You’re promising in front of all these people. Use your creativity and laid back attitude to the advantage of the marriage. Come up with new ways to have fun, to tell her you love her. Kiss her before you leave for work each day. She’ll remember if you don’t and she’ll always have something to brag about to her friends.

Alison, follow Adam as your husband and leader of your home. Love your best friends because they’re your girlfriends but love Adam because he’s your husband and the only person who is going to be with you through it all. The guy who got down on one knee to beg you to marry him. Well maybe he didn’t have to beg, but you know his heart belongs to you, you’re the woman of his dreams. Look at him right now, his smile is all for you. You’ve known for a long long time that Adam is your man. The man you want to be with for life, to grow old with, to share in your old favorites like Coast Guard, and in the new experiences you will have as Mr. and Mrs. Parla… treat today as the beginning. You have a lot of history together but start over today. Today and for the next year you’re newlyweds, embrace it.

1 Samuel 26; 1 Corinthians 7; Ezekiel 5; Psalms 42–43

Father God, I pray for your blessing on our marriages today. May we see our partners as gifts from you. Forgive us for our selfishness. Show us the way. Show us your will. Thank you for the joy that marriage brings. Let our marriages become a light that shines and points to you as the author of love, the author of marriage. I ask these things in Jesus’ name. Amen.