I think often about who God created us to be. I picture perfection. Surrounded by God’s love, living in perfect peace and harmony. There is no suffering, no hunger, no thirst. Sounds a bit like heaven, doesn’t it? Unfortunately, we’ve screwed it up. While we can all point back to the Garden of Eden for evidence, we are all cheaters. We are the adulterers of God’s love. I’ve known this since I was young.
As a child, I remember reading the book of Revelation with terror. I was certain that I would be among the people that were caught up in the blood bath of God’s wrath and vengeance. I could almost feel my teeth being gnashed. Dealing with the fear of God’s retribution was impossible. He is, after-all, sovereign, supreme, and the ruler of all things. Even as a child, I was keenly aware of my inability to behave appropriately. I could never measure up.
“Behold, I send my messenger and he will prepare the way before me” (Malachai 3:1).
I knew of Jesus when I was young. I knew that he came to save me from my sins. In fact, I was baptized so “poof,” I am saved, right? I did what every kid did. I invited Jesus into me to hear so that I could be free from God’s wrath. I did not want to go to Hell. If I am honest, that did nothing to remove the guilt and shame I felt for things I had done. In my heart of hearts, I knew I would do them again. I knew what I deserved.
But who can endure the day of his coming, and who can stand when he appears? For he is like a refiner’s fire and like fullers’ soap. (Malachai 3:2).
Looking back on 45+ years of living with Jesus, I see where he has changed me. Sometimes it’s taken the pain of fire and occasionally it’s been a gentle scrub, just like Malachai describes.
“He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, and he will purify the sons of Levi and refine them like gold and silver, and they will bring offerings in righteousness to the Lord. Then the offering of Judah and Jerusalem will be pleasing to the Lord as in the days of old and as in former years” (Malachi 3:3-4).
I am not yet finished. At 50 years old, I am not yet who I was created to be. So, I commit again to sit with the refiner, allowing him to purify me, slowly by slowly, as he did the Sons of Levi. Today, I have a better understanding that my efforts will never be enough to satisfy the perfection of God. Thankfully, One stands in my place. Perfecting my offering. I am able, at once, to sit in perfect love and peace. It is the cleansing blood of Jesus that makes it so.