Today promised to be a great day. I had fun meetings scheduled with plenty of time in between to accomplish some much needed paperwork. I was looking forward to it, until I opened my email. There, I was greeted by two tough conversations. My day was quickly derailed. That’s when I heard the honking of a car alarm down the street. ‘Someone,’ I thought ‘set off their alarm.’ I gave it a passing thought and soon enough, it disappeared.
I set out, as I always do, walking the dog ready to enjoy the sunrise. Down the street, I saw the car with the hood up. Standing close by was a young woman in tears. It was her alarm. “I was just trying to go to work,” she said innocently, “but I don’t have my fob and tried to unlock the door with my key and now the whole neighborhood is awake.” She had to disconnect the battery. Now, she is stranded. Helpless.
Once I satisfied myself that she was safe and had a plan, I set back out for my walk. But, my heart was not satisfied. With tears filling my eyes I couldn’t shake the feeling that I could have – should have – done more. ‘What, on earth, is going on?’ I asked silently. Why is this bothering me so much?
Fredrich Buechner explains it. He says that “Whenever you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest attention. They are not only telling you something about the secret of who you are, but more often than not God is speaking to you through them of the mystery of where you have come from and is summoning you to where, if your soul is to be saved, you should go to next.”
In that moment I understood the love of Jesus just a little bit better. He did the unthinkable, for me. He gave it all. He held nothing back, so that I could have could have life. He did it not because I deserve it, but because he loves me.
What if God was giving me an opportunity to think like him? To have, as 1 Corinthians 1:16 says, “the mind of Christ.” That means that these tears, this pain in my heart, may well be Him calling me to do the unthinkable. To serve my neighbor in a ridiculous way and to respond to my horrible emails the same way Christ responds to my irreverent and rebellious behavior. With ridiculous love.
It’s odd that when I adopt His mindset, I am filled with peace, compassion and love. It makes sense to me now why Buechner uses the words, “if your soul is to be saved.” And I was clear on where I should go next. He is calling me to become more like Him.
“We understand these things, because we have the mind of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 2:16
Buechner, Frederick. Listening to Your Life: Daily Meditations with Frederick Buechner (p. 237). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.