Is It Me?

Ezekiel 37-39, Psalm 87, John 13

Gathered around the table, Jesus is talking to his disciples.  “One of you will betray me.”  He says.   The disciples looked at each other, wondering who he was talking about.  But it wasn’t that simple.  The disciples were struck with fear.  Matthew 26:22 presents them as “greatly distressed.”  In their worry, each man asked Jesus, “Is it I?”

instinctively, the disciples knew their hearts were fickle.  They could, at any moment, fail Jesus.  But that only explains part of it.  In a moment the disciples reaffirmed their hearts, clarifying their motives and commitment.  Having satisfied their inner turmoilI, they ask Jesus ‘Is it I,” with confidence.  Its as much a statement of ‘It is not I.’

It is easy for me to forget that this conversation occurs during the Last Supper, right in the middle of communion.  Can you imagine passing the elements at church and the Pastor says, “one of you…?”  The direct question brings to the fore my own betrayal.  The things I have done, the words I have said and the longings of my heart lay out before me.  My guilt overwhelms and is quickly followed by shame.  Thankfully, this not an ending, it is a beginning.   Like the disciples,  when I affirm my faith in Him I find hope.  One step farther takes me to his sacrifice.  Through it, I am justified.

 “Take, eat; this is my body.” And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, saying, “Drink of it, all of you, for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. Matthew 26:26-28 (ESV)