Psalm 139 is one of deep comfort and connection to God, and a loving reminder to me of how much my walk with God has changed my life. In past seasons of depression, I’ve fallen prey to believing all sorts of terrible things about myself; I’m unlovable & unworthy of being cared about, I can’t do anything right, nothing I accomplish or work towards would matter, I have no hope for the future. I’d self-medicate and self-isolate, trying to hide my shame and embarrassment in myself from others, probably even convincing myself I could hide it from God if I really tried. But this psalm is such a great weapon against the Deceiver’s lies and attacks, and such a vital reminder that I am a precious child of God; that He has known me since before I was even a thought in this world and will be with me long after I die; that like all of God’s children I am evidence of His loving & caring creation, and that I can accomplish whatever He has planned for me for His glory.
Knowing God is always with you and knows the deepest thoughts of your mind & stirrings of your heart is such a relief when you’ve shared your burden with Him and felt the relief and joy that follow. But when our sin-borne pride convinces us our pain should be ours alone, that can become scary, or even painful knowledge. “I don’t want God knowing how I feel, or seeing how devoid of hope I am! How embarrassing would that be!” The thought process might be something along those lines for those going through such struggles. But let me tell you, there is such incomparable freedom when you surrender your selfishness and shame to God, and instead allow yourself to be immersed in His word, wisdom, and love. There is true comfort in the vulnerability of allowing yourself share all of who you are with God & knowing He will love & cherish you all the same. I implore you, in times when Satan tries to whisper in your ear how you it’s preferable to hide how broken you are, arm yourself with this psalm like a sword, knowing you are indeed the meticulous and intentional creation of a wonderful God who loves us, broken as we may come.
Paul knows God’s love conquers all in this life, and says so in Romans 8: “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” I pray in times of need you would know the love of Christ is inseparable from you; it is an integral part of our being, woven deeply into the very fabric of who & what we are. Pray that you would be armed always with the knowledge that God is with you, that He knows and sees you as you are, and loves you dearly for it. Be thankful today that God would craft you just how you are, as a loving child of Him who serves an irreplaceable role within His Kingdom.