I don’t know how people live without a close relationship with our creator.
Have you ever had someone you looked up to and respected, do something completely the opposite of what you would have ever dreamed of and opposite of what they were an expert in? For example, two fire fighters. They both fight fires and teach fire safety and prevention. Then one of them out of anger intentionally starts a fire that causes pain and destruction.
As you might imagine, I’m reflecting on a time where I was wronged by someone, metaphorically as the two firefighters. Don’t worry, I’m not talking about anyone in my family or a close friend, yet I pray that this person might read these words and come to understand true freedom.
The Journey
First, astonishment. It was surreal as my mind was saying “this is not actually happening”. As the thoughts processed, the physical reaction came in. My heart was pounding, hands shaking, and adrenaline flowing.
At the same time I observed another witness to this event with his nostrils flaring almost like a wild horse (I envisioned fire coming from his nose and thought that would be pretty cool), eyes wide open gazing straight at the offender.
Deep cleansing breaths.
Why should I fear in times of trouble,
when the iniquity of those who cheat me surrounds me, (Psalm 49:5)
After the situation diffused there was pain and anger and a sleepless night. I confess to some very dark prayers as to what I thought God should do to this offender. Some of my anger manifested into feelings of hate. Yes I’m human, a sinner.
And this is why I opened with: “I don’t know how people live without a close relationship with our creator.” Without God’s wisdom, I would surely have let the hatred go further, resulting in more damage to myself and others such as my friends and family who are completely innocent in this.
Through prayer, meditation, and conversation with loved ones the healing process started. Multiple interactions with a friend brought so much laughter I had tears in my eyes and my abdominals hurt as we made fun of the preposterous situation. Sometimes if we don’t laugh, we cry! Thank you Jesus for putting friends in my life who know and love me, who help bring joy, peace, and my favorite medicine, laughter.
It was a struggle but I started to realize “the offender” (a human) was not the enemy. As my heart softened I wrote to another friend, “He is not the enemy. Fear, confusion, disorganization, miscommunication and deception are the enemies.” Thank you God for helping me understand.
My mouth shall speak wisdom;
the meditation of my heart shall be understanding. (Psalm 49:3)
The painful event and the healing occurred this week, in parallel with my assigned reading and sharing on Psalm 49 which specifically describes such times of trouble and how God is with us, how he loves us and frees those of us who follow him.
But as for me, God will redeem my life.
He will snatch me from the power of the grave. (Psalm 49:15)
This was another divine intervention, one more reason to believe. God is always on time, his word is always true.