Friend

When you think about the characteristics you want in a friend, what comes to mind?  Honest, kind, fun-loving, witty… What about advocatory?  Is advocacy something you value and expect from a friend?

  • Advocacy (noun) – the act or process of advocating for something or someone.
  • Advocate (verb) – to support or argue for a cause.

Verbs are action words.  You can’t advocate for something or someone if you just believe it in your heart, but keep your opinions to yourself.  If you aren’t willing to take action, you are not an advocate.

Advocacy shows up in friendship when a friend is willing to have your back.  They are willing to go to bat for you even if is unpopular or could be a personal risk for them.  In my own life, I’ve found this to be a pivotal characteristic that has helped me separate those I consider true friends from people with whom I just have similar interests or simply like to spend time with.  Unfortunately my list of true friends gets much shorter when I look at it this way.

Do you consider Jesus your friend?  Take a look at the passage below from John 15. Jesus considers us his friends.  There is no greater example of advocating for your friends that that of Jesus laying down his life for us.  If we subscribe to the principle that we should be following Jesus’ example, then advocacy is absolutely something we should expect from our friends.  More importantly, it is how we should be treating our friends.

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:12-15).

Last week I was listening to Matthew West’s song, God Who Stays, on my way to the office.  My heart was moved by the phrase “you’re the one who runs in my direction when the whole world walks away”.  This perfectly describes advocacy.

You’re the God who stays
You’re the God who stays
You’re the one who runs in my direction
When the whole world walks away
You’re the God who stands
With wide open arms
And You tell me nothing I have ever done can separate my heart
From the God who stays

Jesus is our friend, our advocate, someone who runs in our direction when everyone else walks away.  Even when advocacy cost him his life, Jesus stuck by our side.  This is a true friend.